*yawns* Wow, this week gone by so fast. So many good things happen but yet, it's still so sad that it would have to end soon. Jason getting better, coming home soon. I'm gonna miss not having him around, being like a real couple but then I wouldn't want Jason to stay in the hospital and have more people worry. Spring's here now, it's getting really warm out. Soon we'll be out of school, eleven weeks. Lost five pounds without noticing, wow. I'm really stressing out a lot now. I donno, so many worries, so many pain. I miss him now, making me forget everything. He calmed me down, letting me know that someone is always there for me. I love you so much, you deserve so much more then me. I miss your voice now, time to listen to that song again and again until my sister tells me to get off the computer. I love you so much. Good night all...
True Love
n : a person loved by another person
Bleh, as much as I love Sundays, I hate it when I wake up too early. *yawns* Well, I woke up a hour early so now time to ramble! Today is Sunday...but I'm pretty sure you guys know that now...=/ the birds are chirpping, I think... I'm all dressed up to go, hungery but I'll wait until I get my cinni bun =]Listening to some love songs..errr...right. Trying to think of a new layout for Michelle since her layout now is like mine (I made it for her...grr...). *sigh* It's only been about six minutes, damn. Ahaha, remembering that sleep over....THOUSAND YEARS OF PAIN!! Ahahaha, right Michelle, you and your crazy mind. Makes me laugh so much. Hrrmmmm...I don't think I want to sleep over with Michelle anymore...all we do is laugh and talk about stupid crap. Ahahaha...and the laughing and the sleeping... Oh and I remember that one time...grrr...slap me in the face..so evil >=[ You're so aggressive in your sleep. Not to mention crazy...laughing in your sleep. Ahaha, make me stare at you for like ten minutes just to see if your awake. I bet your planninng some crazy atack on me...*glares to the side* Wow...half and hour intil I go. Yay...*yawns* I want my cinni bun...so hungery. Stumach is being a bum. Jason watching anime, two people were gonna kiss. Damn, makes me miss him more... Hrmmm...I think that idiot here now..well byes for now.
edit;
argh...parents are off to a party, and everyone is complaining about something. Max wants micky d's, mom wants me to wash the dishes, I'm complaning about not getting enough sleep. Watching My Best Friend's Wedding and right now they're singing. Wha, that guy sings good =/ God, I miss him now. I can't go on msn, cause dad and Jason thinks I'm gonna talk to him. I only get to see him at school, and I'm not even aloud to talk to him. Went to metro today with 'Chelle and her LS friends. Everything good and bad. First, we went to early. When we get there, Michelle's friend wasn't there, so we had to wait for a bit. Called him, and found out he was eating ice cream...-.- Met up with Michelle friends after about like and hour, then walked around after buying some poster paper for their project. I was gonna buy a cinni bun, but nooo I had to be all poor and stuff. Couldn't even afford it since my sister stole my two dollers. Met up with him and walked around for a bit. Went to stations square cause he wanted to play some games. Ahaha, everyone was like, JENNY, stop being a bum! Ahaha, they just don't understand =]Later we just walked around, with them being all weird. Then they wanted to go to Toys R Us, so we had to turn around and walk all the way to Toys R Us. They all went crazy, playing with all the toys and stuff, as I stare at them. It was all sad, cause 'Chelle wanted to go home early -.- Well we all said goodbye and left. Okies, well my sister is being a bum, so now I'm gonna go.
Argh, Saturday, and nothing to do. At least my parents, hopefully, are letting me go out on Sunday. Yesh, off to metro on Sunday. Finally, now I don't have to stay home and do nothing but clean the house. Hmmm..that reminds me I have to go vaccum, the house is getting a tad dirty. Oh and the laundry, wait...maybe I should sweep the floors too. Ahaha, yes, this is what I usually do Saturday, since I go out on Sunday. Well, someone is calling me now, I think I have to make food for the baby. Well bye for now??
edit;
Well, my brother and dad just got back from the docters. Apparantly Jason has a tummy ache. ahaha, well it's almost time to eat and my dad is grilling steak. argh, I hate my picky-ness but I just don't like steak. =/ hrmmm...interesting..reading about something..argh forgot what it was but apparantly the red rose repersents passion and white rose repersents true love and the yellow rose, friendship. Maybe next Valintines, I'll buy some a white rose. Damn, still have some homework. Well gonna work on that for a bit now...
Okay, I so want to move out now. It's so pissing, I can't even talk to him. It's so pissing that everyone in my family is controlling me. I guess it's because I'm so use to people telling me what to do that I let them push me around. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like crying but then I cried enough. I really wanna move out so that I can live my life, so I don't get looked down at. But I don't want to hurt my family anymore. I don't want to hurt any one. But if I stay home, if I stay, people will hate Jason even more. My family would probally abandon me if I leave them. If I do move out, where to go? Who will accept a me. Who would take me in? If I move, who would help me? Where will I get money?? How do I live? Damn, all of this is totally stressing. Oh god, and this feeling of ending. I donno, I'm just so afraid of being lonely. I don't want to lose any of them, him and my family. Oh god, everything is so difficult now.
edit;
argh...got into another fight about him. More, you're a frecken idiot, don't ever talk to him, and I don't want to talk to you. God, yelling and fighting, seems so familiar now. hrmmm...what to frecken do now?? Kinda cooled down a bit after going to martial arts, but still kinda pissed. ahaha, that little guy so cute. He frecken is so small and frecken looks like that dude in Lord of the Ring. That, my precious guy. But he still scares me with that, I'm gonna kick you in the face and make you bleed, and make your eye pop out so you can't see. wtf...o.O;;
ahaha, today is so weird...but so totally good xD yeah..Nathan, I wasn't skipping..I was errr...walking around with a special someone..hehe, him and his choco. besides, I never skip...just end up being uberly late...big difference! ahaha, that girly guy came back. I'm like, whaa...he's in my class...?? o.O;; hmmm...I think he's in my science class too...ahaha, Mandy...don't worry...we didn't do anything..*eyes wonder...* wrong....errr...damn...homework time!
edit;
Bleh! Eff it, he's worth it =]
I never wanna be away from you,
never wanna lose you,
never wanna be without you.
God, I just don't know what to do anymore. I keep thinking that maybe we're better off not together because all I'm doing is hurting everyone. But then, would we better off not together?? Would I just be hurting him even more?? My life has gone out of control, it seems that everything that I was once so sure about has made me uneasy. My family has split into two, just because of me. I not even sure what side I'm on anymore. I just wanna get out of my house right now. I just wanna move. Leave the house, leave this family. But I keep feeling guilty of all the things that I have done to them. Lieing, hating, fights. I can't stand it anymore. How can someone live under all this hating?? How do they end up growing up okay. Am I okay?? Am I alright, sane, happy?? I'm not sure anymore. I just wanna live. I just want the answers to all my questions that seem to keep growing on and on. Each and everyday. When will I ever find true happyness.
Edit;
New layout...hope this will do since I jacked the picture off someone...hehe
Okay...I'm not obsessed, I just love him. I mean, come on, when your away from the one you love, you just realize how much you love them. This seems to be the only way I can express my feelings for him right now. I don't know how, but it seems I fallen so deep now. I don't know what to do anymore. All I know is that I want to be with him. I wonder if he wait for me...I know it would be really hard for him, it would be hard for me too...oh god. Am I being selfish??
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
Sigh, I go by everyday now, worring that he might do something. I want to be with him, but so much people are against it. When you're in love, nothing matters right?? Gosh, I just feel so trapped. I mean, so many people don't want me to be true to my feelings, but I don't want people to worry about me. I hate it when they do, makes me feel so guilty. I feel so selfish, thinking of me and him. I know it's kinda wrong for us to be together since my family said that I'm still to young. But right now, all I want to do is be with him. Is that so hard, so bad?? I know I should concentrate on my school work, but isn't that just dening my feelings. Betraying everything I feel. Do I not get a say on how I should feel?? I don't want to forget him, I never want to. But it seems that I have to, everyone is trying so hard to make me forget. I so afraid that I might somehow forget his face, like the many faces I seem to be losing. I'm so afraid of being lonely, and not having him with me, I'm just so afraid. I'm so sick of moving again and again. Always moving, leaving behind the people I once caried for. I don't want to be apart from him. Everything so difficult now, when everything seems so perfect, something equally bad happenes to me. I don't want to seem so emo, but life is getting really difficult. He seems to be the only one that helps me. Helping me cope with everything that is happening lately. Can anyone understand the way I feel?? Does anyone care what I feel right now?? I so frecken worried. When I fall asleep, I don't even want to wake up because I'm afraid that I might forget his face. Sleep seems to be the only thing that helps now since that is the only time I get to see him now. I just wanna see him, I just wanna be with him. God, why can't anyone understand. Just let us be.
i love yoohs 143
Missing someone gets easier every day..
because even though it's one day further
from the last time you saw each other ; it's
one day closer to the next time you will.
I love him
I fear for him
Scew it! So what if I get a low mark in math or french?? I just try harder and try to get a 100%% this term. I don't care how hard it's gonna be, I just gotta try! If I don't make it, if I fail, I just try harder! I will become more determined! I will prove to all of you that I can get an A or at least a B in math. And if I actually try, I bet I could get a 85%% in french! Just you wait!